Page 4 of 10 FirstFirst 1 2 3 45 6 7 ... LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 92

Thread: Dystopian Symphony

  1. #31
    GFX Winner
    We dig you!
    Dany's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    no i was talking about this story because when started was a bit busy and the net was slow also
    took me sometime to be on day

    a new nice chapter

  2. #32
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Page 175
    I see, myself I get always busy trying to finish that story and studying law at college at the same time. I'm glad you like the story
    Last edited by Seira; 11-24-2012 at 11:56 AM.

  3. #33
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Page 175

    Ch11- Unbreakable

    I won't post any new chapter for a while so enjoy the reading!

    July 15th, 2040: 10 AM- H-10

    Hellmet Pitsbulk chuckled madly at seeing how bad things had turned out for the revolutionaries.
    Left without their main trump card they were already made checkmate even before the real fight has begun.
    However it seemed like a victory too easily won. Upon the exchequer set in front of him the last man standing on the other side was still the fool, a piece that hadn’t play its part in the game yet.

    - Stay aside I’ll explain things later.
    Armed with a high volted shear Sen Maa Kloud was really an unpredictable man to Mikael’s eyes. He possessed the ultimate power long desired by most scientists: controlling time.
    The tricky matter about that ability was to guess what future was going to happen to avoid any time distortion or paradox. However it left no room to hazard: it was the affair of a single try requiring a really sharp intuition.
    And Mikael wasn’t able to do so or it would have taken much more time than necessary.
    Sen Maa Kloud grabbed a thread coloured in blue edging out the infinity of possible futures.
    Time reloaded at the minute Hitori was going to die.

    « Why am I feeling so cold right now? I must die another day! I have still so much to do, so much to share: I want to live even a few more years. What am I thinking about? It’s not time to look back at my mistakes. No matter if my future will come out darker or brighter I can’t fail my time will come to an end soon enough.
    If only I could close my eyes not to look at all these painful memories. I used to lurk for yesterday’s happiness but now it causes me only pain and sorrow. May you allow me to cry behind this faking smile I’ve been carrying since that day my dearest, my only one?
    Perhaps I’ve become the strongest but it doesn’t make any sense if I remained the loneliest on the other side.
    I remember what happened, what kind of man I appeared to be in front of your eyes: a coward, a stupid damn coward who didn’t have yet the strength at the time to repay you for your deep, sincere love. What should I do to be forgiven? »

    Everything faded to nothing. The void drew away shapes, colours, feelings, senses, words, actions. Before his eyes appeared the infinite nothingness in its darkest and deepest black shade.
    Pointing to the horizon a tiny ray of light outlined the road to heaven, defined by thousands and thousands of reminiscent images picturing the flow of his memory.
    He heard voices endlessly calling out his name but the chains that bounded him to earth had just vanished.
    The light that endears all soothed every pain. Was it the end?
    He felt a lone tear falling upon his cheek. Wide opened his eyes blinked.
    Across his faint, blurred field of sight Hitori distinguished a face, deep green sparkling eyes, vivid red hair that belonged to Alys.
    He would like to ask « what happened? » but no sound could overcome his lips.
    - Are you awake? Alys gently inquired. I’m glad… so glad!
    - What… happened? Where… am I?
    - Don’t worry Official troopers have left to report. They think you are dead. You’re not in fact. All thanks to Mikael and Sen Maa Kloud…
    - Sen Maa Kloud? Who’s that dude?
    - He has come from the future as reinforcement. He possesses the power of controlling time.
    - Is that so?

    With anger Hellmet Pitsbulk hit the exchequer so hard that it ended up smashed to pieces.
    What a great Deus ex machina! What was he going to do now that the flow of events ruined his strategy? Who the heck was that redemptive angel coming from another time?
    Disappointed he gritted his teeth with resentment and looked back at the darkness itself behind him.

    Isha and her comrades rushed to gather the first wounded people. The noise of the gunshots had provoked panic everywhere. People were running destroying everything that got in their way. Heavily armed troopers shot at anyone they suspected of being a revolutionary or affiliated in any way to the Lonesome uprising
    Isha was especially nervous hoping she wouldn’t be targeted as well. To get out the prison she had to make up a cover identity in the purpose of being engaged by the government as a mandated surgeon to manage the Evacuation. However she was not selfless to the extent of denying publicly her love for Hitori.
    All of a sudden a red haired girl appeared in front of her:
    - Don’t get stuck on the way!
    The girl pointed a trembling finger that said “Over there!” at the threshold of a warehouse nearby.
    Isha had surprisingly a bad feeling about that pale close mouth girl who looked imploringly at her.
    In case of an emergency she couldn’t hesitate, her duty was before all to heal everyone no matter origins or political opinions. She would catch up with her comrades of the healing team later on.
    Even before entering in the warehouse she knew something serious had happened. Seven red motorbikes were roughly parked outside probably in a rush. A man wearing a futuristic armor armed with a high volted shear hanging at the belt guarded the main gate.
    He looked suspiciously at Isha when she walked into the building. She couldn’t help to sketch a pale grin trying to win his trust.
    - No problem Sen she’s reliable, the girl said.
    Her voice sounded familiar to Isha. She couldn’t tell why but she was almost sure she had already heard it before. The face of a young child came up to her mind. Could it be possible? Why was she starting to anticipate the future? Their encounter never happened or was going to happen.
    The girl guided her to the back of the waste factory. There, four people were at the bedside of a fifth person badly injured.
    She bent down and pulled away the golden survival blanket that covered his inert body.
    Beneath his jacket blood spread fast around his heart. She recognized him at his long golden brown hair and rimless glasses. Hitori.
    - No... no way! What happened? Why… him?
    Isha had just a first aid kit within easy reach. It was still better than nothing but she didn’t have the tools needed to replace the bullet from Hitori’s chest.
    She could only use bandages to stop the bleeding. Hitori definitely needed to be carried to a medical shelter to be healed properly. Still she refused to admit her helplessness and continued practising usual first aid gestures to bring him back to life:
    - Hitori can you hear me? Hang on… for goodness sake!
    His fingertips were stony. He had already lost too much blood. He was going to die.
    He was going to … !
    - Hang on!

    That nuclear bomb was just a mere toy according to Hellmet Pitsbulk. It was just a prototype after all. All the money he had spent to achieve his vicious and ambitious plan was invested to create the real “Shovel of Death”, an apocalyptic machine of war personified by merciless robot filled with nuclear energy acting under his almighty orders.
    As soon as he would launch the monster’s processors Hellmet Pitsbulk should be able to dominate the world like he had always wished to. He just had to push a single button and the entire world would submit to his authority.

    July 15th, 2040: 11 AM- H-9

    One hour had passed.
    Hellmet Pitsbulk received his soldiers’ first reports on his laptop. The revolutionaries had retreated due to Hitori’s death. Among them there was a weird folk armed with high volted shear but it had changed nothing much to the battle’s outcome given that Hitori has already died or was going to die.
    The Lonesome people were not prepared enough for the next round thus it was the proper moment to carry out everything while they were mourning for their lost leader.
    Isha had done everything she could. Now she had to catch up with her teammates not to be unmasked if her absence hasn’t already been noticed.
    She had entrusted Hitori to the care of the Lonesome movement’s members. He was their leader so they would protect him like he protected them.
    As long as this girl called Alys was alive she knew she had left Hitori between goodness hands.
    Interrupted in an experience Fritz Davis received a phone call from his higher ups. The orders were simple: when the time would come he had to push the huge red emergency button installed on the top of his laboratory’s main control panel.
    It was decided that Sen Maa Kloud would stand in for Hitori on the battlefield until Hitori has recovered enough to fight. In his current state it was the most reasonable alternative.
    The real battle was about to start.
    Last edited by Seira; 04-18-2015 at 04:51 PM.

  4. #34
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Page 175

    Ch12- A man's oath

    I was wondering if the time counter thingie would be sometimes confusing, guess I should make a timeline about the second part not to be carried too far away myself.
    Anyway here is the 12th chapter which is a flashback for the most part thus no more fighting for the moment being.
    Have a nice reading!

    Wherever she went, whatever she was doing Isha thought about Hitori.
    Seeing his body covered with blood was heartbreaking. He was too fragile to carry the weight of such heavy cross upon his shoulders ready to break apart at any time.
    By dint of willing to protect everyone, with boundless self abnegate generosity, he offered himself as a sacrifice for world’s sake. Almost religious his infallible honesty had never known any misdemeanour, since that day.
    That day occurred five years ago in the middle of July.

    July 2035:

    Since dawn the President’s investiture speech rebroadcast had replaced everything else from the official radio that usually displayed classic music, news and literary programs between 6 and 10 in the morning.
    The sun had risen up but outside a dead silence weighted down the atmosphere. Birds had given up on singing. Footsteps were shifty. Cars went down the city slowly.
    All that echoed everywhere was the rough voice of the President and the staunch applauses of his followers.
    Hitori and Isha had spent the night together, for the last time. Isha knew so well she had to move on as well as her parents, not to be arrested by the men dressed in black.
    Hitori lightened her against his chest trying to be reassuring and comforting. Any of them knew what future, what ‘new world” awaited mankind at the end of the road.
    - Let me go, Isha whispered picking up her favourite dress that looked like a cherry blossom
    She dressed up and looked by the window at her dear city of origin. She has been brought up there, made there her closest friends, fell in love at first sight with Hitori along that street sat on that bench. She didn’t want to move on so soon, just because a fool had just been elected as the head of the country the day before.
    He was the President. She was Isha.
    He said he could easily blow away any opponent to his regime. She was afraid.
    He said resisting to the regime was useless. She was revolted.
    He said a new world was coming. She was a political refugee from now on.

    They forced her to talk, they drove her in a corner but still she endured. She didn’t know where her parents had gone to, she knew anything about the medicine.
    Hitori was held prisoner, arms outstretched, at gunpoint.
    Shocked he couldn’t talk and even less make a single move.
    Isha was their prey but he could only watch.
    He blushed of shame in a fit of anger against himself, against his helplessness.
    He loved her so deeply, so sincerely thus why? Why was he not fighting at her side against those beasts that tormented her?
    The disappointment in her eyes killed him from the inside as though it was daggers
    He wanted to cry, he wanted to shout. No words could have described how he felt so ashamed.
    It was the last time they see each other until the trial, thirty days later.
    One could say it was a parody of trial; forces were way too unequal between the accusation and the accused: lawyers were under the accusation’s heel.
    The courthouse was almost empty. A bribed judge, mock lawyers, Isha, her parents and a few interested Official people were the protagonists.

    Hitori tied back his hair in a ponytail. He couldn’t fail once more. It was a matter of dignity.
    As a man he couldn’t put his own safety before Isha’s life when Isha was enduring the worst torment because of his helpless cowardice.
    Headphones put on listening to latest news he made secure his crash helmet. A gun was hanging at his belt.
    Fate had offered him a second go to prove to Isha the sincerity of his love for her.

    Isha was afraid about the outcome of the trial: she could no longer handle the fear and the loneliness of those days spared in jail isolated in the security quarter.
    Her mother tried to be reassuring:
    - Don’t be afraid things will go fine as long as they have an interest about the medicine we have created. If they want to achieve the recipe they shouldn’t kill us. At least it’s our last hope to work out a fair deal with them.
    - Be unfair and unfaithful is their law. It’s thoughtless to think about making a contract with them.
    - How else should we act?
    - Darling we should wait, Isha’s father intervened. I’m sure there is still a chance for us to get out of that mess alive and safe.
    - Should wait for what or who? No need to remind you we’re not in a position that allows us to trust on never coming miracles and/or dreamt guardian angels.
    - I’m talking about a strength that only a few ones gain once in a lifetime, that smash every doubt, every fear to pieces, that gives us life, that light our resolve to the strongest flame, the power of people: a strength whose first name is love.
    It was unexpected Isha was surprised to hear those words from her father.
    It felt like he was not the one talking.
    He looked mysteriously at the main door: has he planned on something great to happen?
    Before the doorman had unlocked the gate, the guest announced his arrival himself.
    Hitori in flesh and blood stood in the threshold armed with a gun.
    The judge ordered him to retreat but Hitori walked to the accused bench instead.
    He threw away his weapon. Face down he bowed humbly to Isha offering his neck in sacrifice to her anger and her resentment.
    - I present you my deepest, my most sincere apologies. I won’t even dare to ask for your forgiveness. A coward doesn’t deserve your love, does he?
    Voiceless in shock Isha shook firmly her head. Deep was a word way too weak to describe how strong and respectful were Hitori’s feelings towards her.
    Eyes down he raised a hand at his heart with solemnity:
    - I swear to protect you until death do us part at my own risk in the name of our love.
    My oath belongs to you before everyone else but not only, also the cause of those who had vowed their life to freedom and equity although they are persecuted.
    The eyes of law witnessed the scene. Even the most cold hearted were moved by such a proof of uprightness and loyalty.
    However necessity was at the root of law. The trial was still going on.
    The hands of coercition seized Hitori and pulled him outside. He could not fight.
    When it comes to fists, he could only submit unable to lay a hand on anybody.
    He believed in words. He believed in mankind.

    July 15th, 2040:

    And now he layed in his own blood half dead.
    How was such a self-denial possible?
    By dint of denying his weaknesses, Hitori was too self-confident: what about the nature of their relationship? He was human and wished to become a hero but was it really what Isha desired? He was her knight, she was his princess: she was always worried about him, about how he could lose his life at every turn because of his foolhardiness.
    Judging by his personality Isha stated Alys must kept the secret at any cost. He was going to be the first to die if he faced head on the troopers once more. He was going to experience unfathomable despair and remorse if he knew she ought her successful career to her position of mandated healer that granted her opportunities to restart everything from scratch by becoming an Official subordinate to the government himself.
    That way her parents were better treated, Hitori’s life wasn’t in danger for now at least.

    July 17th, 2050:

    Moto Rorola stayed by the bedside of Sempai.
    His state had gotten worse. He shouldn’t have awakened so soon.
    She placed him back to bed, applying a cold pack on his forehead.
    His wounds seemed reopened even if he had recovered faster than usual.
    She thought about the “Shovel of Death”. It should have never been created; it caused only pain and sadness, guiltiness and regret, injustice and wars.

    At the United Countries Committee the order of the day was all about the status of Society.
    After hearing Ashley’s report the ambassadors, members of the committee, became aware of the situation. It couldn’t have gotten even worse.
    As to know if the threatening of another Traumatism was near, they should act wisely. The first had almost destroyed entirely the world the second would smash life to ashes.
    Indeed they were aware “the President” had still dangerous and apocalyptic tricks in his pocket. If so, how to negociate unless declaring war to his regime, a war that might become endless and exhaust mankind as well as Mother Earth herself?
    Ashley’s report mentioned time travelling. It was an alternative but somehow it bothered the diplomats: defusing the “Shovel of Death” was something, but modifying the past didn’t mean necessarily the future would come out better.
    Politicians had failed at that time it was undeniable, now they could only look back at their failures, accept their responsibilities and make sure not to reproduce the same mistakes.
    For now it appeared clear that the fact the President had implicitely taken the leader of the opposition son of the late Prime minister in hostage had brought things to a head.
    It could be counted in hours before he followed through his threats.
    The countdown had already started.
    Last edited by Seira; 04-18-2015 at 04:52 PM.

  5. #35
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Page 175
    Hello from the underwater world,

    Passing by to give you little news. It's been almost a month since I've posted any new chapter.
    First it goes without saying I'm willing to manage this project from the start to the end but sometimes imagination is on vacation for too long. It's one of the reasons why it always takes me so much time to work out a chapter good and entertaining to read. While we're at it, by the way feel free to ask questions or expressing criticism if the way the storyline has came out lately can be confusing. Dealing with time travel came across my mind as a fun idea but now look at how even myself i feel lost in translation as well as the characters sometimes xD
    Anyway you'll hear from me soon, I've currently written almost the first half of the upcoming chapter. I won't tease you any longer, though expect more fighting from now on. They have to defuse a nuclear bomb, it won't be easy to work out.
    No more pep talking, hang on a few more days it's coming in libraries soon =)

  6. #36
    GFX Winner
    We dig you!
    Dany's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    oh my just noticed the last 2 new chapters

    haha had what to read today
    where nice
    hm i write slow also[but manage finishing some old stuff]
    longer 8 parts ..>.>

  7. #37
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Page 175
    Hello it's been a while. by the way I've come accross your new poems they were good.
    Eheh I've once tried to come back at very old stuff that I wrote at the time I've started writing and dropped it because it didn't inspire me anymore: that complicate love stories that end up fuzzy or endless you know.

    Talking about the last chapters I'm glad you enjoyed reading them, I was not sure if adding too much backstory had a real use but well it was quite necessary at this point to understand the roots of the political crisis that lingers beneath the creation of Society involving people, science and politics.
    I can't tell exactly when I'll be done with the new chapter, all Ican say is that the war has definitely been declared.

  8. #38
    GFX Winner
    We dig you!
    Dany's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    thank you saw your comment while lurking offline haha[my net was slow-.-]
    glad you liked them
    hm well where fantasy both with bits of horror
    both let them with 2/3 ch ern 4 years ago
    writing again i changed the story because forgotten the one i had
    uh love stories not my type and yes those can be endless
    i knew someone which was writing this genre
    had over 20+ch 0.0

    well is ok don't hurry with it
    i always take time
    once started a story and wrote 2 paragraphs and 2 weeks later in 2 hours finished it[was not short] so wait for inspiration
    oh i see that is interesting
    background info is always useful only that few overdue with it

  9. #39
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Page 175
    In fact it's true that continuing old stories can be tricky because you don't remember exactly where you were going. In my case the new chapters didn't come out as good as before so well I guess I should drop it or review the whole story at least.

    I felt like adding background was necessary. Over my few years of experience as a writer now I try to add more consistency to my characters in their background and their personality.
    Talking about new chapters I try not to force myself into deadlines though I care about releasing at least a chapter per month not to lose sight of the storyline outcome. Moreover I'm not used to write about fighting so here is a point I have to work on at the same time I'm writing the story.
    btw I realize I never really read your story though it looks awesome, I'll look forward to finish reading it soon. oh and what offer to bring it to reality, it would be cool to see it adapted in a movie

  10. #40
    GFX Winner
    We dig you!
    Dany's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    yes even though i had ideas on paper could not link anymore so decided to go in other way and finish them fast :D [i started in march a new story which o far has 2 ch and hm i thought to add like a sequel to one i just finished - ern have no idea what will come out :O]
    well is pity dropping a story on which you worked hard, reviewing might be a good choice

    well background is important because like that you improve the characters personality and you hm might get fond by one of them[the reader]
    if has any might be to "blank" the story- lately i try adding also :O...

    uhhhh fighting in story not easy... i always let a brief description and pass over >..>
    good u don't try to force yourself
    go with the flow
    i always write with music[mostly sad ost's] if the story needs

    oh thank you
    mostly i have on my devianART[copyright there] account and other 2 sites i'm old member
    well i put here horror/tragedy and 2 has bl
    hope u'll enjoy them
    i was thinking to add my ongoing story also i work atm[pff 6 ch+ 7th in work lol]
    oh yes that will be o.0

Page 4 of 10 FirstFirst 1 2 3 45 6 7 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts