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Thread: Dystopian Symphony

  1. #61
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
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    Smile News

    Hello there,
    This was not planned to announce the new chapter and its not an April's fools joke.
    In fact I have big issues concerning what plot carrying for the story because of one and major problem, the time paradox created by Hitori's death. Either way I think about it I come to write unrealistic or illogical things. Okay time traveling is already unrealistic but let's keep things physically logical however.
    That been said I can tell you it will take some more time but the 18th chapter will be out one way or another in the next few months.

    Another thing more joyful is the thread has almost reached one year of existence in one month from now on May. And I have to say I'm grateful to have carried the story so far with you. What was at first a random piece of writing has became a novel isn't it amazing?
    What's more so far it is my first real serious project so I'm really feeling proud to see it still go on. And it is mostly thanks to you fellow readers because you gave me the will and the motivation to continue writing.
    Sci fi is such a fun genre to experience but can be tricky when it comes to keep things at least physically logical and you may lose interest and inspiration by the same way if the stpry feels confusing for the writer as for the reader. So far I haven't got any negative critics so I should say I'm doing pretty well but let me know if anything happens to go wrong or confusing because of too many subplots. In any case thanks for all your kind and encouraging comments, I'll do my best to continue writing the story.

    Good night or good day, take care.
    See you soon -
    Last edited by Seira; 04-01-2013 at 10:39 AM.

  2. #62
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
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    Ch18- A matter of seconds

    Well well well -
    The wait is over <3


    It turned to be a head to head battle between Marcus and Hellmet Pitsbulk.
    At last the two met again, enemies as always.
    As for the victory the one to gather first the other half of the key was incontestably the winner. Compared to Hellmet Pitsbulk Marcus was slightly disadvantaged because of his feeble health condition weakened by his age and his lack of fighting experience.
    The President had an irrefutable strategy. He smirked and came to Fritz Davis, grabbed him by his arms lifting him from the ground. He glanced at Marcus:
    - I want you to give me the key.
    A few minutes passed before everyone realized what just happened.
    Eyes closed Marcus sighed wearily:
    - That’s why I should have never accepted you as my apprentice. You are to be blamed for your methods, such dealings are none worth of a man who calls himself President.
    He came in front of his interlocutor arms opened:
    - Please be reasonable do not make me lose my temper.
    - I’m not impressed. Once again give me the missing half of the key otherwise…
    - Otherwise my butt, what are you going to do? Don’t you think you have already caused so much pain and sorrow? Doesn’t this guy deserve your mercy?
    He laid a conciliatory hand over the President’s wrist forcing him to let go of Fritz whom he addressed:
    - Step out of the battle.
    - What- what the hell? Why?
    - This fight has already begun long ago even before Hellmet became President at the time he was nothing more than my student and began meanwhile to show an interest in nuclear energy business. I know better than anyone else how to deal with such a power thirsty person.
    - Wait! Theodora exclaimed. If so why have you implicitly let him become President by disappearing during so many years?
    - Because… I’m an idiot, a silly selfish idiot.
    - Marcus, answer me honestly!
    - I’m so honest right now Dora.
    His throat tightened. His eyesight blurred.
    He pulled Fritz’s weapon off the ground and pointed it at Hellmet Pitsbulk:
    - Step back Dora you could get hurt.
    He looked up glancing at the President:
    - It may sounds too late telling you to restrain your thirst of power but this time you have crossed the border.
    Hellmet Pitsbulk smirked:
    - Don’t be hasty. If I die now you will not be able to defuse the bomb on time. Even the key complete I’m the only being to know the deactivation code.
    Here now listen to me. Let’s see of us two who is the smarter. Take back that weapon if you want the world to be saved.
    Victorious Hellmet Pitsbulk held out an old watch and added:
    - Be careful, either I can move time forward or backward or even stop it
    Fritz frowned:
    - What does it mean? Can you control time?
    - Are you surprised? I skimmed through previous researches about time travelling and pulled it further to make real the theory. If you follow thoroughly my conditions you will be able to come back to the real world of 2050 and should I mention every of you. Because I can make sure that any time paradox will not happen again. Let me show you.
    He turned the minute hand right to left to three hours ago and held it on.
    - Now the ball is in your side, do what you think you are supposed to but do not regret it if you make the wrong choices.
    Fritz gritted his teeth and was willing to attack to take revenge but Marcus interfered in between to stop him right away.
    - I did say step back.
    - What the hell? Why?
    Marcus sighed as an answer and looked up glaring at Hellmet Pitsbulk:
    - What you have said there! It applies to you as well. It feels like this adventure was a matter of choices from the start.
    - Wait Marcus it is most likely a trap! Theodora exclaimed.
    Marcus took calmly the watch away from the President’s hands:
    - Time, life, death are things you can’t play around with Hellmet.
    Responding in agreement the watch sparkled emitting a thread of light that flew through the air to the outside fast as a shooting star.

    Black and red, black and green and blue and black and blue and white.
    Small bump, cough, heartbeat.
    Was it the paradise?
    Not yet
    The purgatory or the underworld.
    Rubble, dust, mist, silence.
    The world itself was crumbling from the underworld to the top of the sky.
    Aftermath the disaster everything was covered in dust due to the strength of the explosion.
    Silence. Void. Death everywhere.
    No more supplies.
    Exhausted people
    No hope because no future.
    Unable to run any farther, out of breath.
    No matter if armed to the teeth policemen were at your heels, if a nuclear bomb had blew up, if you had never thought before about your last dying will, what would you do if you were going to die within five minutes?
    Yet a few meters left.
    Gasping for the last drop of water falling down the bottle.
    Running for hours aimlessly.
    Out of breath Shinichiro turned around. He had shook off his pursuers but was nonetheless safe in the darkness.
    A cable sizzled: he startled. If he had not lost trace of his parents he would have never gone through much trouble but now he was alone.
    He had not wished for it to happen nor his parents would leave him alone willingly.
    He did not know why he was pursued by those scary men wearing black coats and heavy weapons but one thing was sure he had to run whatever the reason was.
    They thought he had the antidote. What antidote?
    He took a shortcut by a side street. Where to go?

    Drops of sunlight sparkled through the roof.
    The ground was cold and hard. The work machines were silent.
    Was the factory abandoned?
    Nokira blinked, eyes wide open and pulled himself off the ground. He swept dust from his clothes and looked around. It was exactly the abandoned factory of his memories where he had taken refuge in the past to escape the political police.
    Time travelling was a strange experience he wished to never have again. It brought back some memories better to never recall. His hand reached for the small flask hanging at the tiny golden chain laced around his neck: never take it off or lose it, never let it fall his mother told him by the time they were not separated yet. He wondered about why the clear liquid inside was so precious, why a regime would go through storms and wars to obtain it.
    As a result there were times he had to hide it like when he was off to work at the presidential palace. He took good care not to be caught by surprise especially when he was undressing in the changing room.
    He played with the devil. For his secret to remain well kept his life was constantly endangered. A climate of denunciation reigned among the employees. One word too many, one suspicious act and you could get fired then arrested right away.
    Luckily he found a ready to function motorbike in the storehouse when thoroughly exploring the place to find supplies. A motorbike had nothing to do in the back room of a factory, its bright red colour was not discreet but at least it could allow him to move around the city easily looking for his comrades.

    As he was expecting he ended up pursued. Nokira took a side street targeted by a squad of policemen willing to shake them off fast. The city was a whole mess so he guessed a battle had been held a little while before: most likely the Lonesome were now heading to the nuclear power station or even had already intruded in.
    He could see it from afar, made of concrete and overwhelming, dominating in size the city.
    When he reached his destination he noticed the Jeep parked nearby. Indeed the Lonesome fighters were already there. But him was always late, for some reason.
    He sighed heavily and looked desperately at the antidote hanging at the chain around his neck. He didn’t even know how to use it and why it was such a precious liquid.
    “The time will come you’ll find out a good use of it” his mother said while handling it to his care.
    But he was clueless it was a mere flask containing a mere clear liquid, nothing neither so special nor supernatural about that item.
    Like it was responding to his thoughts the liquid began sparkling.
    “- What- what’s going on?”
    Now the antidote was shining more vibrantly eagerly waiting for him to react accordingly.
    Intrigued Nokira let it guide him to the car. It was only then he figured out why his mother was so worried about losing the artefact because it appeared to be related to a special ability he had to identify almost acting on its own.

    All of a sudden the air sparkled. The entire nuclear power plant vibrated.
    Everyone thought at first it was an earthquake. But the stoned look on Fritz Davis’ face was enough to understand it was not.
    - Fritz do you know something about what is happening? Ashley inquired.
    - I have heard once about that artefact regimes would declare wars to obtain. It is stronger and faster than any of my experimental time devices. Moreover…
    He turned to look at Hellmet Pitsbulk:
    - … People like him are eager and wishful about it because it gives the power of travelling through time to the person blessed with fate luck to be its owner.
    Until now it remained only as a legend but well… what is happening, it is responding to its master.
    Again he shot glance at the President and smirked:
    - That means, do not try to cancel or stop the process the thing in your hand is only a mere toy compared to it. It will only result in shortening your lifespan by playing around with the flow of time. In other words let things happen normally as they already should have in the past. Don’t be childish give us the defusing code so that the Shovel of Death will be defused and that person I mentioned before could fix the mess your thirst of power has caused to mankind.
    - It won’t be enough. It is just the beginning. Sure the world will be saved but only for a short time lapse because it is only one isolated event. In the time of history it is nothing more than a second.
    - What if a second could change the flow of history?
    Asked a calm, conciliate voice.
    - One word. One act. Everything is a matter of choices. Time waits for no one.
    Last edited by Seira; 04-18-2015 at 04:57 PM.

  3. #63
    GFX Winner siHa's Avatar
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    wow i like your website Seira

    تملي معاك ولو حتى بعيد عني في قلبي هواك

  4. #64
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
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    Awww thanks
    I hope to transform it into a real website with a personal web domain one day. I've already bought everything needed for that but the big deal is to integrate the content.
    Making the chibis had a purpose
    Last edited by Seira; 10-25-2013 at 11:09 PM.

  5. #65
    GFX Winner siHa's Avatar
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    it's good sound. you know , your chibis very cute

    تملي معاك ولو حتى بعيد عني في قلبي هواك

  6. #66
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
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    Thanks a lot for your support Siha
    I'd like go a little further into the story before getting seriously to the technical, design part because its not the most difficult.
    If I could wish for a particular type of website I would go for an interactive book you can turn the pages but my knowledge about coding is too short for now.
    Yes the chibis were to give a fresh and friendly look to the blog in general and give more life to the classic contact me page, also made it just for fun at first.
    About the chapters same as for Great expectations spring is inspiring, I'm working on the next three chapters at once. Its to be said I get to the ending part and the most interesting because its where I can go beyond the narrative process to extend and explain the ideas I've developed throughout the story: somehow it seems to me like the third part of an essay. Glad you like the story and/or the website, I'll do my best to get back to my usual writing pace :)

  7. #67
    GFX Winner siHa's Avatar
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    تملي معاك ولو حتى بعيد عني في قلبي هواك

  8. #68
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
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    Things are coming slow ...

    Hello peeps, so passing by to announce next updates and guess it will turn again into a bit of pep talk ~
    First of all I've started the third part called Aftermath it will be surely the final because everything has to find an end and things begin to find an answer along the newest chapters to come. I won't tell further to avoid spoilers. What's more expect a fictional constitution to be included in the story ( that is fun to write omg).

    the second thing you'd like perhaps to know when it will come out. I'd rather say not soon depending on the outcome of my exams, around the end of May to tell an approximate date but I won't take a firm engagement on that.

    Some questions you can ask yourselves:
    - Will there be a sequel? Most likely no.
    - When will the website be fully available? Dunno it depends on the time I have to spend on learning how to make a nice Wordpress website. Everything is set for it but the making of the website will take long.
    - who is that chick in your avy pic? I did not mention it but he is from another story, the new one called The Great Escape ~
    - Any further plans in the creative process ( eg comic and such stuff)? No it would be interesting but long to make and I have other plans on that topic.

    I think that's all for today, just be patient new stuff will come next month :)
    Take care ~
    Last edited by Seira; 04-30-2013 at 07:35 AM.

  9. #69
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
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    Ch19- Now or never:

    New part, new "girly" character, the fight is getting wild!
    For this one year anniversary release here is an action packed new chapter. Thanks to everyone for your continuing support I will do my best on the story until it will be completed :)
    Enjoy the reading! ^^

    Naomi Kokuboheki felt cramped bundled into the nuclear shelter she was assigned into and could not stay in place for more than seconds. At thirty-five she was an engaged singer founder of the Next Century Loners music band.
    For many years she had cut all ties with her family the day her father tried to convince her to engage in politics. It was something she could not be forced to. It appeared in her eyes that he would have liked her to follow his steps however she was not interested at all in holding a high position in the government. The seeds for the change were to be found in other ways of engagement. She was a woman of character usually wearing men clothing and suffered no authority. Somehow as the lead singer of the Next Century Loners she was her own authority. It did not meant she liked to give orders or thought herself above laws but more like she did not trust anymore in the official speeches. She just admired the bravery of those who tried to conciliate both sides with patience, resolve and words rather than wars and weapons.
    Her little brother for example he was one of the few people she appreciated in the family. They did not need words to understand each other because they shared the same will. . It has been years since she saw him for last. Wearily she switched on the multitask watch hanging around her wrist to take a peek at latest news. It displayed the amateur shots people had taken so far of the recent events.
    She sighed and pulled her guitar off the ground, a vivid blue electric guitar that is why she was nicknamed Blue Bird by her mates. She set the tuning breaking accidentally a string and saw it as a sign of bad luck.
    - Tch! She uttered.
    She lit up a cigarette and looked beyond the shelter’s sealed window at the battlefield
    The battle had wrecked havoc around the city smashing the buildings and the public equipment to bits. Out of anger her cigarette crashed on the wall leaving a trail of ash on the metal. It could have been compared to the world itself if the bomb was really gong to explode and she wondered how to put an end to that unending cycle of wars without provoking another war, a war of interest and mass destruction.
    She switched on the radio given the latest news were broadcasted in real time.
    The events were told from the point of view of the Official people from what she understood the revolutionaries had already reached the city’s nuclear power plant.
    She smiled. Actually after so many years of waiting the revolution was on the air.
    “ – We can’t tell yet if the battle has made victims but from what witnesses reported we are almost sure that the leader of the uprising Hitori Kokuboheki also son of the former Prime Minister is known dead by now.”
    Eyes widened in shock Naomi rose up and shut off the radio.
    - No way… they will pay for that those officials! She uttered.

    Her motorbike flying down the city at full speed, Naomi pestered about politics in general. No way the current government could have stayed in place for ten years if people had revolted earlier but people were naïve. Since his second victory to the presidential elections in 2035 the will of the President to concentrate all powers pretending it could solve the world crisis for a while was real enough to be not acceptable.
    She felt sad for the death of her brother. Being the eldest child and his big sister she has kind of a motherly instinct that told her she could have done something to save him but how given she was not even aware of what happened just a little while before.
    She had regret and remorse. The last time they saw each other they were arguing about Hitori engaging or not engaging in politics. He was able to become a promising politician while her not because she did not agree with their father’s point of view about political engagement.
    The next day or a few days after she left the family house slamming doors and never came back again. Henceforth a free bird she bought at that time her first guitar and began doing engaged music on the street to earn money and buying her own apartment.
    She led a free life far from the conventional society by living under bridges or the dark corners of side streets. Thereafter she settled in life more conventionally by finding paid well seasonal jobs as café singer or part time pianist for one night concerts she got to make a better living and become famous. She was mostly well known for her rebellious personality and her engage songs because she had to deal with censors more than once. She was a great singer but with a terrible character: pleasing her was pretty difficult because her expectations were often too high for the sake of the cause she was defending.
    To the world she showed her cold and intransigent self but inside she was another person. From the shadows she was motherly watching over Hitori in secret. She took her role of big sister at heart although she had cut all ties with the other members of the family.
    Her fingers clawed into the handlebar out of anger. She arrived too late to interfere.
    Despair overwhelmed every else feeling. Inside her it provoked the birth of a new resolve as though she was hit by a blast of energy coming from behind with the strength of a fist.
    The surroundings of the nuclear power plant were a vast no man’s land. There was deadly rotting trees here and there. Naomi could not help to compare this gruesome scenery to the doors of hell. There was a Jeep parked nearby. She was attracted to that point without knowing why. Until she realized her chest was sparkling she had not noticed yet the change in her appearance.

    The corridor was dipped into the silence. No one spoke because no one knew what was next
    “- I would very much like to know if we're not fooled by what the legends say of that ability and that we're not playing our last card only trying to make diversion. We should put up a plan to act with strategy else we're about to lose already ... ”, Theodora observed for herself.
    Hellmet Pitsbulk chuckled:
    - Purely words and magic, do you think I was going to be feared? No one is allowed to command me I do what I want, the way I want.
    Fritz Davis laughed:
    - What is funny in what I’ve said? The President asked and shot glance at Fritz who was chuckling continuously.
    - You think childishly that this display of power might be a magic trick but you don’t even know what you’re talking about. The Judgment of Time is meant to judge the present by learning from the mistakes of the past to hope for a better future. It will start activating anytime soon when its four users will be awakened.
    When arriving nearby the nuclear power station Naomi saw the Jeep when seeing Hitori inside braked brutally. She jumped off her seat and came to the car.
    She looked at his peaceful face expression with compassion. Her fingers touched the curve of his neck to check his pulse though she knew it was already too late.
    Now that she knew a part of the truth a blue flame burned inside her awakening a power she possessed unknowingly for long.
    - Everyone is waiting for us let’s go, said someone from nearby. My name is Shinichiro nice to meet you.

    - One word. One act. Everything is a matter of choices. Time waits for no one.
    Naomi looked deeply at Hellmet Pitsbulk:
    - Don’t ever cause such mess in the right flow of time again!
    - Naomi step back! Marcus intervened. It is too dangerous…
    - This failure of a President will pay!
    - What are you going to do against me with no weapon meanwhile I’ve got the activation code of the most powerful nuclear bomb ever created? Hellmet Pitsbulk chuckled.
    - The Judgement of Time use is to prevent certain events from happening when they can be avoided. In other words it is meant to put again the world on the right way by learning from the consequences of the first Traumatism. I do hope for the fourth of us the Judge to ever awake and kick your ass out the country’s leadership for what you did not do to make it better to live in.
    - It is childish still to trust in guardian angels.
    - Clawing your determination into the Shovel of Death to win the battle is childish.
    Shinichiro stepped forward next to Naomi and looked deeply at the President
    - Just think twice about your behaviour and act now for the world to change positively.
    If you let the bomb to explode a tragic future awaits mankind at the end of the road. It is the result of a world’s excess for being too power thirsty and money seeking, its economy based on exhausting the last remaining resources. People will live undersea in a fully operating substitute high tech world completely created from scratch by the scientists mandated by your government. Consequences are gruesome against world’s balance. The weather as become unstable, the seasons flipped upside: the sudden increase of temperature due to the climatic change will fasten the melting of the ice caps turning the world into a huge sea. The commonly known continents will no longer exist replaced by a web of urban structures connected together by high speed roads and forming together the federal state called the Republic of Aftermath. Those state cities will be named after the old time countries. They will display numbered by chronological order to be easily identified on maps.
    Hellmet Pitsbulk frowned with quizzical eyes, in some way amused
    - Do you think I will believe that display of things? What if you are tricking me with an alternate vision of the future?
    - Your argument is poor, why do you think I’m trying to fool you? It is the fault of your regime by willing to practise illegal nuclear test without a real worth purpose. You can still repay for your responsibility in this mess by stopping the countdown with a single finger move. Choose your side, either you are still determined to achieve your plan or you want to act now and switch off the bomb before it is too late to step back. By now your choice should be already made.
    - I admit you’re right.
    - So what?
    Hellmet Pitsbulk held out the key and made it swirl around his finger mocking the matter with a nervous burst of laughter:
    - I think you have just made me checkmate on that topic.
    If you want it come to take it. Hurry none of us want the Shovel of Death to explode tonight.
    Shinichiro nodded but was stopped by Naomi. It was a too easy victory.
    “It must be a trap!” the young woman thought looking around to search for any hint of a vicious last chance trap. She did not see anything suspicious at first glance.
    - Wait Naomi! Theodora exclaimed. What is your plan? Don’t you think this victory is too easy?
    - I know what you’re thinking Mother. You have already lost a son and you do not want me to intervene in the fight because I can get hurt and die, right?
    - That’s not all of it …
    - What is it about then if not myself getting involved late in the fight?
    - Look behind!
    - Huh?
    Naomi turned around to face a monster made of iron and steel. The real Shovel of Death. The bomb was a mere toy after all meant to make a clever diversion.
    - The last countdown has started.
    Last edited by Seira; 04-18-2015 at 04:58 PM.

  10. #70
    Senior Member High Poster <3 Seira's Avatar
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    News

    Click image for larger version. 

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    ... Syndrom of the blank page ...

    *points at herself

    ...

    Hello fellow readers, I'm still alive and willing to write The Beginning until the end o/
    I'm not gonna say I'm completely stuck but for reasons I may have already mentioned before chapter 20 is so hard to finish because I lack inspiration.
    I hope I will ever write it it's the only chapter that get me stuck for quite a long time now.
    Now let's talk about the interesting upcoming stuff. I've started long ago to work on a real website which I'll try to complete and make available for the public within the year. It will have its own customized webdomain so I'll make sure to make a notice when time will come to transfer the content into it. I will announce more about that website when things will be more precisely set in place, for now i can show you how the banner looks like :D

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    Back to the story itself well let's say I'm taking more time to think it is slowly taking shape.
    Just so you know I'm pretty getting near the end so a lot of work is ahead from me till the final product ^^That's why as usual any feedback is appreciated, positive or negative, I keep improving every page and I need to know what's confusing or can be misunderstood so that I will review the story efficiently when it will be completed :)
    See you then for the 20th chapter

    Last edited by Seira; 08-24-2013 at 01:16 PM.

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